About Me
Who am I? What makes me tick? Why do I do what I do? No small question to answer. How do I summarize my entire existence into a short, easy digestible story? I will try to explain to you my complexity while not wasting too much of your time. I am offering my apologies in advance, I have a proclivity for verbosity.
So, what do I like to do? My interests are varied and copious. In no particular order they are; music (almost any type, punk rock, metal, hardcore, techno, alternative, rock, jazz, big band swing, ambient, experimental, etc.), politics (I’m coming from the left, a Progressive Democrat I am), vegetarianism (I haven’t eaten anything with a face since August of 1992), straight-edge (I don’t smoke, I don’t drink, I don’t take drugs, I never have and I never will), bowling (my all time high score is 197, still can’t seem to break 200 – but we haven’t been bowling in forever), Spanish language (todavÃa estoy aprendiendo), swing dancing (mostly Lindy Hop and 6 count swing, although someday I’ll learn balboa, and maybe salsa), books (words, words, words), movies (I love crime films, horror, suspense, drama, comedies, etc.), cooking (I’m not a great cook, but I’ve learned some great stuff out of necessity) & of course photography. Wow, is that it? Nope, but sometimes brevity is a good thing.
My name is Brian Hull (not that you couldn’t have figured that out yourself). I was born on December 13, 1972 in
I was raised in Attleboro, MA, a boring enough town. Once the home of a booming jewelry industry, now a desolate downtown wasteland of abandoned factories, warehouses, and storefronts surrounded by sprawling suburban homes and nice little fenced-in communities. Not necessarily the American Dream, but far too common as Corporate America exports jobs and downsizes, devastating the
Family vacations were common growing up. My parents didn’t have the economic freedom that some parents have, but we were a lot more secure in our financial situation than far too many other people who live inside and outside of this country. Either way they did their best with what they had and I love them for it. We went camping a lot, and I remember a time in my life when I enjoyed camping, when I enjoyed “roughing it”, when I enjoyed pooping in a hole in the ground. That phase in my life (I’m glad to admit) is over. Due to the numerous camping and vacation expeditions we as a family undertook, we were able to see many parts of this great nation of ours; Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont, Virginia, Pennsylvania, Florida, Oregon, Washington, California, as well as excursions into Canada and Mexico (if you can consider a 2 hour trip into Tiajuana an excursion, or “Mexicoâ€). Fortunately, since my youth I’ve been able to visit Montreal (for the Jazz Festival in 2003), Spain (I traveled to 17 cities in 8 weeks during the winter of 2001), Spain again (to study Spanish in Sevilla for 5 weeks in 2002), the deserts of Southern California (specifically to take photos), and Mumbai, India. I hope to travel a lot more in the future with my girlfriend, it’ll be a good excuse to brush the dust off of my old Bronica medium format camera again and shoot some more B&W film.
I guess in another way I can say that I’ve “seen” the country, because in 1994 I was in a punk rock band (see below) that toured 32 of the 48 contiguous states. But I never had the opportunity to actually SEE anything aside from the inside of dingy clubs and bars, or dingy living rooms and basements.
Growing up was a lot of fun. I was always athletic, playing little league baseball and soccer, and spending my summers in summer school so that I could take track and field. I look back on that last part now and it seems pretty weird, but I liked doing it. I raced a lot against this one girl who was taller than me, be we always were pretty evenly matched in any race we had, whether it be a 50 yard dash or a mile run. We became good friends / bitter enemies, all due to competition…. I can’t remember her name.
One time my dad signed me up for pop warner football. And just to clarify, currently I’m 32, 5’ 7†tall and weigh 135 pounds. When I was 13 I was probably 5’ 2†and weighed 90 pounds, and I had a dad who thought it would be a good idea for me to play football. Ummm…. yeah, we lost every game. I think I only held the football during practice, never in an actual game. I’m not sure if he was trying to live vicariously live his life though me, but I found that I was constantly picking myself up off the ground. Thanks dad!
Then came high school.
During my high school education I was a skate punk with messed up hair, ripped clothes and safety pins everywhere, just ask my dad! Like most adolescent kids, I hated school, I hated being picked on and ridiculed, but I loved to fight and did so whenever I thought the circumstances warranted it; a trouble-maker I was, a rabble-rouser, a veritable provocateur!!! I was “fortunate” enough to experience the following events while attending high school; breaking my leg while skateboarding, almost dying and almost killing two of my friends in a car accident (my fault), losing my virginity, playing drums in a band, failing English my senior year and having to make it up in summer school before I could graduate. With the exception of those 4 events, high school was almost entirely uneventful.
I graduated from Attleboro
My parents had a pretty strict work-ethic which looking back on, I truly appreciate, because it taught me the value of money and restraint. I first started working when I was 15, I was a counter boy (a McWaiter) at the local McDonalds. It was, without a doubt, one of the most grueling jobs I have ever had. After a brief period of time making a whopping $4.75 per hour, I realized that I would never again work at a fast food joint (the filth and waste I saw in that place was disgusting). Augut, Inc. came next, and it was a drafting job I received through a work study program offered by the vocational program at Attleboro
Various retail jobs came and went through my late teens / early twenties, as did working in a convenience store (I was “let go” because someone robbed the store, holding me up at knifepoint, during my shift), and probably my favorite job, the pizza delivery guy (I once received two crisp $100 bills as payment from someone who obviously was not quite sober when I brought him $18 in pizza. I looked him right in the eyes and asked “You need change?” – “Nah, you’re all set.â€)
My worst job was that of a school portrait photographer. The work itself wasn’t all that bad, just simple assembly line student photos. Although it was extremely physically demanding (super early hours, lots of driving, and constant lifting of heavy photo equipment) and incredibly monotonous (imagine photographing 700 high school or middle school kids every day for 3 and a half years). The company I worked for instilled in me the strongest desire to never work for anyone else for as long as I lived. It epitomized unfairness, exploitation of workers, income inequality, and the disparity of employees and management. Working for them provoked a deliberate shift in my thinking, and that was the last time I ever worked for someone else.
Music, straight-edge hardcore, and being punk rock were the three key elements allowing my longtime friend David Grenier and I to start our first of many projects together. With the ever so slight influence of Rob Moran from Unbroken (”Dude, you got a lot to say, you should start a zine”), Retrogression Fanzine was born. It was a personal journal, music and rant zine by 2 people who shared the same brain (still do). It was awesome, although it lasted for far too long. But nonetheless it was an incredible experience I will always cherish. I guess writing Retrogression with my friend Dave was the first time I really wrote in my life, although what I wrote about was never as serious as what I write about now (for good and bad). That was back in 1992, and since then I’ve written either a zine, a journal, or my blog relatively religiously. All other things aside, I have an immense feeling of gratitude for the various ex-girlfriends who provided me with the desire to continue writing during the hiatus of public writing between the demise of Retrogression and the start of Proclivity for Verbosity.
In many ways punk rock music was my lifeline in the years after high school. I was in 6 different bands at various times in my life. Colorblind, Daltonic, Holdstrong, 138, Corrin & The Game. I’ve toured the entire United States and parts of Canada while playing punk rock music (although I’m glad I toured the country, there’s not much time to SEE anything except for the inside of dingy clubs and bars, or dingy living rooms and basements), and I met some of the coolest people in my life due to punk rock. The community feeling of punk rock as it was in the late 80’s to the mid 90’s was very nurturing. Of course there was an element of conceit and a holier than thou attitude held by a small minority of punks, but overall it was amazingly powerful and positive. Unfortunately, as time passes things change dramatically. I no longer go to punk shows, but I still love the music. I’m currently still playing the drums with a group of old high school friends, including Mike Issler who played guitar on the first Daltonic demo. My friendship with Mike, while strained at some times in the past, is bound together by the music that we play and the current appreciation of discussing politics. Again, I wish I had more free time in my life so that I could devote a larger portion of my energy into creating music, but alas it is a dream that will (most likely) never come to fruition.
I’ve been in love 5 times in my life. Or maybe I should say that I’ve had 5 life changing relationships in my life. The first “love†was a girl from high school named April while I was a senior. I actually never really had much desire to date while I was in high school and I only got around to it when I was about to graduate. April was the first in a short series of women who confused me on more levels than I care to admit to myself. Anyway, I consider her my first “serious†relationship, although when I think about who I was while in high school I wonder how serious it could have been. I do remember how heart broken I was when the relationship ended, so I consider it an important aspect of my life. On a completely unrelated note, I actually saw her again a while ago after close to 11 years. She was a guest at a wedding I was photographing. I thought that was pretty ironic in many ways as I thought in my youth that I wanted to marry her. She seems to be doing well, but we don’t keep in touch. I mean what do you really talk about to a woman who you dated 11 years ago?
Next was Sue. She was so cute and the only girl I’ve ever loved that I have not been in communication with since the relationship ended. And also this was the only relationship where everything that went wrong was completely my fault. I treated her horribly and I feel like an ass about that now because I know that she actually loved me. She would’ve done anything for me, but I was a stupid 21-22 year old kid who had no concept of what one was supposed to do and how one was supposed to act in a relationship. I took her for granted and the relationship ended when she went off to school in Fitchburg and I found someone else. I can’t say it was a mutual breakup (if there ever is one), because we were both heartbroken.
Allison. Hmmm. With her I had my most “marriage like” relationship, excluding my previous relationship. We got together almost immediately after Sue and I broke up. And as ashamed as I am to admit it, maybe a little before Sue and I actually broke up. It lasted about 3 1/2 years and most of the time the relationship was really nice. Or at least to my recollection it was nice, although several of my friends and family have a distinctly different remembrance of it. But love is blind. We lived together for about 2 1/2 years and it was difficult for many reasons, lack of money being the biggest one. Allison was most definitely the worst breakup of my life. I tortured myself over this woman for a very long time. And after 2 and a half years of reflection and introspection, I was finally able to move on….
Enter Dani. What can I say about her? She was everything I ever wanted in a girl and some stuff I couldn’t deal with. She had so many characteristics that I loved and we were more compatible than I was with anyone else before in my life. The difference in the relationship I had with Dani compared to the prior ones was that for the first time in my life I let everything go and I was just happy to be with her. I finally had it all figured out. Unfortunately she didn’t. Although I partially blame myself, because I knew it was destined to fail from the start because of one specific issue that we could never seem to resolve.
Such is life.
Currently, I’m in a relationship with the most brilliant, loving, caring, beautiful, and wonderful woman I have ever met, Kirsten. I’ll leave it at that, because she’ll get all embarrassed if I go into it anymore. It’s safe to say that this is the woman who I will eventually marry. She is simply amazing.
Photography entered my life with the intensive photographic training of a single basic B&W photo class I took while attending college. The inundation and mastery of photo technique (yes, FEEL the sarcasm) led to a position of customer service representative of a local camera shop, photo lab, portrait studio in Attleboro, MA, aptly called The Camera Shop. It was a great job, with nice bosses, unlike those previous, and unlike the torment of the school portrait job which was to come later. My apprenticeship began at that time without my knowing, slowly, at a snail’s pace, my future career was beginning to take root in me and evolve into something I never could have imagined. It was an experience that changed my life and gave me direction and I’m grateful for everything my old bosses showed me and taught me. After working for 5 years at said studio I decided to start my own photography business and in August of 1996, with the ill-fitting name “Photo & Digital Enterprises” I began prostituting myself for work. It eventually paid off - www.hullgrenier.com
I’ve been swing dancing since late 1999 and I consider myself an intermediate to advanced dancer (but one who constantly wants to and needs to learn more). I started by taking sporadic 6-count beginner swing lessons at a time in my life when I was feeling like I needed validation and needed social contact with new people. I took lessons for about a year, but I was never motivated to go social dancing and the passion died. Almost a year later I got back into it again, took more lessons (to refresh my memory of everything I forgot), finally conquered my inherent shyness and started going out to swing dances (which oddly enough are bountiful in Rhode Island and Massachusetts). The next couple years brought me many great new friends and an appreciation for other types of dance, especially Lindy Hop. Due to the constant inundation of swing videos, dances, workshops, great friends and regular dancing, I’ve been able to progress in my style, technique and rhythm. I’m a member of a swing dance group called Providence Swings which began in December of 2003. We started teaching lessons and we have our own regular Thursday night dances in order to build a swing dance community in the Rhode Island area (which we’ve been able to do considerably well).
In recent months, I’ve gotten burnt out with the whole swing dancing thing, and it’s been put on hiatus while I finish school and get some other things in my life squared away that are much higher priority. I miss dancing, some days I miss it a lot, but it seems like I’m just far too busy to find the time. I keep telling myself that when I graduate, I’ll go back. We’ll see what happens.
I bought a house in Providence in March of 2003 and after significant repair issues (repairing holes in the walls, fixing the plumbing, plugging gas pipes without blowing myself up, painting every room and the exterior of the house, retiling the bathroom, sanding and re-staining all the hardwood floors, wiring an electric oven outlet, installing new switches, lights and outlets, fixing the porch, replacing all the windows and also both boilers), I’m again living like a typical average income American, under a crushing burden of debt. A lot of stuff I did myself (even without any previous knowledge of home improvement), or with the help of some friends, and some of the stuff I hired people to do, or bartered wedding photography for. I love my house and my neighborhood, and now that mostly everything is fixed (I’ll eventually need to get the roof replaced, fix the gutters, repair the mortar on the foundation, pave the driveway and replace the main drain pipe in the basement) it’s a wonderful place to be. It’s a comfortable and modest 
home (I try to be a minimalist, but I can never seem to reduce the number of books I own) for me, Kirsten and my 2 cats.
Currently, I’m back in school over at Rhode Island College. It seems like I’ve never stopped going. After my failed attempt at Engineering, I took classes in Accounting when I started my own business, just so that I could learn how to do my own bookkeeping. Then I took several Spanish classes and had at one point in my life an advanced proficiency in the language which allowed me to communicate relatively fluently with native Spanish speakers. That has since regressed back to my rudimentary language skills (but in the immediate future I’ll be taking more advanced Spanish classes again). Right now I’m taking classes for another degree in Political Science with a minor in Economics. My hope is to get more involved in politics, maybe running for office or delving deeper into activist / advocate work, or policy advising. Although my focus right now is just finishing school (class of 2008!).
I find my life no more or less interesting than anyone else’s and now you know what some of it has been like. Thanks for reading and feel free to e-mail me.